THE INFIDELITY QUESTIONNAIRE™

How to Identify Your One Single Question About Infidelity

Each Infidelity Questionnaire will provide the answer to one specific question regarding signs of infidelity, a cheating souse, or a question of unfaithfulness.  You need to identify the issue you want to investigate prior to completing the questionnaire.  When you order your IFQ, you will receive a form to fill out that will assist you in writing your one specific question.

It is important to know that a question you want to investigate must be:

• Clear and unambiguous

• Specific

• Asks about a behavior that started in the past, even though it may still be occurring in the present

• Contains one and only one question

• Concerns an issue regarding infidelity, signs of infidelity, a cheating spouse or partner, or unfaithfulness

Examples follow.  Note that all questions are phrased using past-tense verbs.  In other words, they are questions about activities that took place in the past, even though they may still be going on in the present.

Example #1: 

Rick and Olivia were married on August 13, 1995.  Olivia suspects Rick might be cheating because she suspects he is having an affair with someone he works with.  There are definite signs of infidelity, including late nights supposedly at the office, the scent of perfume on his clothes, and the awkward silence whenever she asks him about it.  Olivia's question for Rick's IFQ might be:  "Since 8/13/95, have you had sex with anyone other than your wife, Olivia?"

 Example #2: 

Suppose during a period of separation during their marriage, Rick had sex with two other women and later confessed these infidelities to Olivia.  Then Olivia's question for Rick's IFQ might be:  "Except for Joan and Margaret, have you engaged in sexual activity with anyone other than Olivia since you married her?"

 Example #3: 

Johnnie and Pat are partners who began a committed relationship two years ago.  Recently, friends have told Johnnie that Pat has been sleeping around.  Pat wants to prove to Johnnie that she is not a cheating spouse and that these allegations are false.  Pat's question for her own IFQ might be:  "Since you entered into a committed relationship with Johnnie, have you engaged in sexual activity with anyone else?"

 Example #4: 

Jessica is suspicious of Craig's behaviors.  When she asked him, Craig confessed to an extramarital affair that he had with a woman named Joan.  He told Jessica that the affair ended over two years ago.  Jessica's key question for Craig's IFQ might be:  "During the past twenty-four moths, have you engaged in sexual activity with anyone other than your wife, Jessica?"

Avoid Inappropriate Questions

Some questions are not acceptable as questions for investigation on the IFQ.  For example:

• Do you really love me?  (This is not a question of fact.  Instead, it is a question of feeling.)

• If I give you a second chance, will you cheat on me again?  (This asks about future intentions that may change tomorrow, next week, next year, etc.)

• Did you love her/him more than me?  (Another issue about feelings with a comparison added.)

• Did you have sex with more than four men/women before you married me?  (Unfair to ask what he/she did before he/she met you.)

• Have you ever thought about cheating on me?  (We are not the thought police!)

• Since 1/1/01, have you met with any other women besides your wife for sex or actually had sex with them?  (This is a compound question - two questions in one.  This would require two IFQ's to answer.)

• Are you cheating on me?  (This refers to an action happening in the present and does not specify what is meant by "cheating" - in other words, it needs to be more specific, e.g., Have you engaged in sexual activity...)

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE APPROPRIATENESS OF YOUR QUESTION, PLEASE ASK US FIRST.  YOU CAN CLICK HERE TO EMAIL US WITH YOUR QUESTION.